[ar:Lil Dicky] [ti:Ex-Boyfriend] [al:] [offset:0] [00:00.29]Ex-Boyfriend - Lil Dicky [00:01.58]Ey what's going on man [00:03.56]It's your boy Lil' Dicky [00:05.18]A K A Mr Leftward-Sloping Penis [00:09.35]I got a story for y'all man [00:11.37]Peep this [00:12.66]Yessir [00:14.25]Now I been dating this girl named Katie she hot as hell [00:17.58]And her body crazy v***na shaven and it don't smell [00:20.88]And I don't fall for chickens [00:22.19]But this one a little different [00:23.93]Body sickening [00:24.89]Plus she really good at making breaded chicken [00:27.27]Got me thinking she the one man [00:28.64]Even fully clothed shawty really fun man [00:30.55]Get a lotta hoes but none of those come close [00:32.30]I swear this the most that I've felt so damn exposedddd [00:35.01]Oh yeah there's one more thing [00:36.25]And I know this **** gonna sound insane [00:38.03]But I still haven't hit it [00:39.44]I admit it I wish I was kidding [00:41.56]Never been up inside before [00:42.89]Because she's only f**ked one guy before [00:44.65]And though I really wanna boink this w**re [00:46.41]She my sweetie 3 14 [00:47.88]So I'm staying patient and masturbating [00:49.96]And now my heart is sorta racing [00:51.74]Cuz she said tonight will be the night we do some fornicating [00:55.52]Hell yeah I'm down I'm 'bout to go all out [00:58.71]I'm gonna pound that crazy like an elaborate black man handshake [01:01.62]But on the way to crib we p*** this kid [01:03.62]And he seem to know who Katie is [01:05.29]So I say thisand she say [01:06.84]Dicky this is my ex boyfriend Jim [01:08.59]And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type [01:11.66]But as I'm looking at this dude I can't believe my eyes [01:15.12]Cuz he's the best looking guy that I've seen in my whole life [01:21.29]He's got the thickest head of hair chiseled jaw an egregious bod [01:25.49]Man this the closest thing I've seen to a Grecian god [01:28.98]And now I'm looking at my chick cuz his d*ck's been inside her rawww [01:35.37]Awww damn [01:36.67]Man this is crazy [01:37.65]I can't believe this guy used to f**k my lady [01:40.17]I bet he left that ***** ravaged like Haiti [01:42.76]Katie's hugging and squeezing his shoulder blades [01:44.83]And I'm bugging and queasy this ain't okay [01:46.47]And then they say get drinksso I say okay [01:48.64]Even though I was about to get laid [01:50.08]Man this maf**ka look like Ashton [01:52.14]Combined wit a lil' Hugh Jackman [01:53.67]In other words he's so damn attractive [01:55.24]So damn tan he gotta have a little black in him [01:57.07]Now I'm in the back wit him sipping on some 'gnac wit him [01:58.87]And he paying for it all he inves**ent bankin [02:00.47]I'm acting like I ain't distracted [02:01.90]But I'm reenacting him and Katie bangin [02:03.61]And now I'm feeling pissed so I go and take a piss [02:06.90]Mid stream I look left and guess who it is [02:10.47]And I had to see and I was mad discrete [02:12.07]And I got on my tippy toes and I took a little peek [02:14.00]Oh my god becky look at that cock [02:16.97]And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type [02:20.22]But as I'm looking at his d*ck I can't believe my eyes [02:23.66]Because he's got the biggest cock that I've seen in my whole life [02:29.79]And now I'm staring at this dude's soft d*ck with a lotta hate [02:34.02]Because the **** is plus 8 like Jon and Kate [02:37.42]And I don't know if I can date my girl after tonight [02:43.88]Aw damn [02:44.90]I don't know what to do [02:46.52]Dude's d*ck is really huge [02:48.45]I didn't realize a penis could be so smooth [02:51.79]I know she's missing that [02:53.41]My penis isn't that [02:55.12]I'm looking closer I think that his d*ck has abs [02:58.64]Six pack on a d*ck [03:00.72]Now what the f**k is that [03:02.06]It's so long and thick [03:04.09]It's like a punching bag [03:05.31]I'm saying it's so shaven head is amazing [03:07.57]Got my d*ck looking like a raisin [03:09.01]Skin tone insane man he's hung like Saddam Hussein it's crazy [03:12.50]What the f**k should I do [03:14.23]He gotta Ruth's Chris d*ck and mine's a drive through [03:17.83]I think it's time to [03:19.00]Tell Katie my goodbyes [03:20.48]Cuz I simply can't survive [03:22.16]After seeing what was in between his thighs [03:24.71]So I tell her [03:25.69]That this dude's gotta d*ck that I don't comprehend [03:28.88]I had to move my neck to see it end to end [03:32.27]I mean the physics of his d*ck just don't make any sense [03:38.70]And I think it's for the best if this comes to an end [03:42.61]Because the sex with him must have been the best [03:45.95]And I would say let's just be friends [03:48.79]But I think I would just think about his d*ck all the time so goodbye [03:53.13]Then she told me Dicky I don't really know what to say [03:56.25]Because I dated this dude in second grade [03:59.68]So I don't know about his d*ck now let's go home and get you laid [04:05.88]And then I took her to my crib and you know that we barely slept [04:10.10]And I gave her an O like I was selling crack and when I came [04:14.47]I pulled out and nutted all over her left thigh [04:18.08]And upper mid-section region [04:19.30]You can call that the pelvis [04:20.43]Some would even call that the pubic bone [04:22.07]Leave the pubes at home [04:22.96]Making this up on the spot [04:24.35]F**k you know about it [04:25.29]I'm about to go paper-mache my own d*ck and ride it